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憂鬱姆 table.MsoNormalTable {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";}又是陰陰雨雨的天氣,人的心都快要發霉了,小姆今天心情好像也不太好,幫牠梳毛梳西裝到一半,牠就開始不爽了起來........... 小姆: 偶不要梳了啦!本小姐不高興了喔!快把那怪東西拿走! 笨牛: 好嘛!好嘛!真是好心沒好報!怕妳頭髮打結又怕妳吃下太多毛才每天土地買賣幫妳梳,結果還要被妳兇被妳咬.....#&$xo... table.MsoNormalTable {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";} 一個人,喔不,是一隻貓跑到窗台去沉思 帛琉 table.MsoNormalTable {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";} 凝望著天空,不知在想些什麼?叫她名字也不理我..................... 烤肉食材table.MsoNormalTable {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";} 看起來牠好像有心事,還是根本在記仇?因為剛剛梳毛的時候弄痛了牠,說不定牠正在思考賣屋等一下怎麼從我面前落跑,而且在落跑前先偷抓我一把...........(這是牠最常有的報復方式) table.MsoNormalTable {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", 關鍵字行銷"sans-serif";} 果然開始在搜尋逃跑路線了,我看我得先發制貓,不管三七二十一先跟牠和談再說........ table.MsoNormalTable 代償 {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";} table.MsoNormalTable {font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Calibri", "sans-serif";} 笨牛: 好啦!小姆小姆別代償生氣,明天帶妳去看戲,看妳爸爸流鼻涕.........?算了!不好笑,我想連妳也不知道自己的爸爸在哪裡.....重來一次:小姆小姆別生氣,現在請妳吃罐頭,保證妳高興又滿意!(OS:我真酒店工作是標準貓奴,幹嘛沒事討好牠啊!?) 小姆: 馬麻有點怪怪的,今天幹嘛主動說要請我吃罐頭啊?倫家偶只是想練習一下假裝憂鬱,看看會不會比較有氣質,往氣質美女路線前進啊!?果然關鍵字廣告有用喔!馬上就賺到一餐鮪魚罐頭大餐啦!嘻嘻嘻...............

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婚姻幽默 Marriage Humor (婚姻幽默) Wife: 'What are you doing?' 妻:你在作什麼啊?Husband : Nothing. 夫:沒作什麼。Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' 妻:沒作什麼?你看著我們的結婚證書,足足有一小時了。Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'夫:我在尋找它的有效日期是到什襯衫麼時候。 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' 妻: 要吃晚餐嗎?Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'夫: 當然!我可以選擇嗎?Wife : 'Yes or no.' 妻:要或不要。 租屋網----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?' 妻:為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡?Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.' 夫:當問題發生時,不管有多困難,我看景觀設計著妳照片就迎刃而解了。Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!' 妻:你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊!Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?' 夫:是啊!望著妳的照片我問自己,還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢? 婚禮顧問----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' 女孩:婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾,以減輕你的負擔。Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or 節能燈具troubles.' 男孩:親愛的,妳真體貼,但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' 女孩:哦?那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my 關鍵字廣告seat to a lady.' 子:今早我和爹地一起搭車,他要我讓座給一位女士。Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' 母:嗯,你這麼做是對的。Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 子:但是,媽,我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A newly 租屋網married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' 一位新婚的先生問他太太:如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我,你會嫁給我嗎?'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' 女人溫柔的答道:親愛的,不管是誰留下財產給你,我都會嫁給你褐藻醣膠的。 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever . 女孩對著男友說:吻我一下,我就永遠屬於你了。The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'男孩回道:謝謝您提早警告我。 室內裝潢----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' 妻問夫:你最喜歡我哪一點?我美麗的臉龐,還是我性感的軀體?He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.' 他把她從頭到腳瀏覽房屋貸款了一遍,回道:我喜歡你的幽默感。 -------------  ------------- 

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